Tuesday, December 18, 2012

of reflection

life is a journey. focus on it but let's not loose sight of the pretty rainbows along the way :) 

"Pernah suatu ketika di dalam hidup, kita tercari2 tujuan hidup setelah puas bermaksiat kepada Allah. Itulah tanda kasih sayang Allah kepada hamba-Nya, biar sebanyak mana dosa kita, rahmat Allah mengatasi kemurkaan-Nya."
found this somewhere on the net.

been there. trust me. that void wasnt feel good. wasn't the proudest period of life that i want to remember much, either. malu sebenarnya bila teringat all those things i did back then. but alhamdulillah they weren't so bad pun for me to feel ashamed sgt. hehe. but seriously, alhamdulillah, i was given enough strength and rahmat to still be able to start changing for the better. can't say im near there, but slowly, insyaallah. slowly, but surely :) 

can't imagine if the me-then refuse to start changing, at least, to start thinking of changing. Nauzubillah. but again, those are life lesson kan. helped me be who i am today. hehe.

havent had the chance to talk bout this to anyone yet. not even the husband. hehe. coz im scared i might do it halfway. like i did, almost all the time these past few years. but i secretly am hoping that one day, i am able to do the things i wanted secara istiqamah. to dress better (especially) and observe all those obligations better. insyaallah. i once told myself that lepas kawen, mesti, mesti jugak cuba berubah lebih baik. and i think ive been finding and giving too much excuses that now, i think i better start doing it. 

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