Tuesday, November 1, 2011

of commitment

Commitment - i's a big word. big enough that i sometimes spelled it wrongly. Big enough- one that should not be handled lightly. having it on my shoulder this past 3 years, (that is right after i started working) has made me very pessimist and bitter. i know, dalam Islam x patut mcm ni kan. hehe.

been blogwalking for a few days and that has made me think of the original plan. that is, the plan of my wedding. You know, the initial plan that me and ecan had was simple. nothing big, nothing fancy. In fact, i was dreaming for a very simple akad nikah and a small makan2 right after the nikah. and it has to be all white except for us. haha.

that was because we wanted to get married as soon as he's back for good. not because we cant hold our hands off each other, but because we think it is the best thing to do. to make us halal for each other.

However, haruslah idea tidak disokong kan? the family says this, and the friends says that. mostly will tell us that wedding is a once in a lifetime event. so kene la meriah sikit.

byk sgt kene brainwash, i started looking for this and that, wanting and dreaming of this and that. and now, sendiri risau takut x cukup duit to pay all the things that everyone wants for the wedding.

I know, a wedding is a big event. especially for the family and friends. and i too, am hoping that it could be a very memorable day where everything is nice and everyone is happy.

but i also know that deep down i dont really want all those things. the list on the "do" side of my checklist doesnt have much as compared to the "dont". I am the kind of person who focus too much on the future thingy. The future disturb me. So i kinda think that it is better for me not to spend too much for the wedding but invest for the future.

At the same time, I have lots of financial commitments. Nobody knows much but at least i know it is for the parents and my future. so, i dont think i can spend much for my wedding and it kinda stresses me out when friends and family keep telling me to just spend and not to think too much about it for the big day. because my wants and my needs are arguing inside my head. grrr.

and when i plan to DIY most of the stuffs, some will tell me off as they think DIY for wedding will result to a less than perfect wedding. like how the commented on my engagement. hmm...

tapinye, dok nk dgr ckp org je manjang pun pening2kan kepala. entahlah. i just hope that i can do a lot and spend less for the big day. I'd rather spend the money on for our honeymoon at the end of next year or, pay the deposit for our first house together. rumah mahal weh skrg ni @.@ i keje gomen je. mana nk mampu beli kalau dok tunggu lama2 lagi... and we both work in the city centre. lagi la pening.

Kesimpulannya, nk kawen tu senang. akad nikahnya tak sampai satu minit pun tapi prosesnya, alahai. Tuhan je yg tau. Mana nk fikir pasal keluarga, wang hantaran, duit belanja kawen, duit nk pakai mulakan hidup lepas kawen lagi~

and if are lucky enough to get married with the help from your family or if duit dalam bank ada byk sbb selama ni dapat saving sendiri b4 ada commitment lain, alhamdulillah je lah. jangan la asyik ckp kat org lain yg kamu x faham kenapa org selalu ikat bertunang or buat decision nk kawen tu agak lama sbb tgh kumpul duit. coz truth is, mmg la org tu tgh kumpul duit kot... at least dia dh start mengumpul kan. bkn x langsung. haha. dari dok bising kata mcm2 kat kwn or family member tu, baik lah kalau kamu support dia, ok :)


5 comments:

FY said...

mariyaa.FY doakan yang terbaik..insyaAllah kalau niat kita baik bernikah kerana Allah,perjalanan kita akan diredhai-Nya

teha. said...

macam ni la. sape sebok komen, kene contribute money. baru senyap.

dhiera said...

memang banyak sangat mak minah yg meyebuk itu dan ini. cakap je tak guna, meh hulur sikit duit tu. wedding kita, kita tahu la kan nak apa yg kita nak. dorang tak boleh expect kita buat macam apa yg dia nak.

semoga perjalanan kamu dan pasangan sentiasa dipermudahkan~

fainie_riz said...

Dear, what-so-ever pun, this is our wedding..we are the wedding planner, we are the banker, we are the designer..org komen itu ini, dgr kan jek..mana yg ok, kita ikut, yg tak ok, buat tak tau jek..masa wedding i dulu pun sama, yg dok keliling ramai la yg suggest kn itu la ini la..finally i ikut jek ape yg i nak..

maryaaaaaaa said...

dear all: yessss so true!.
and thanks. dh rasa kuat
semangat sket. hehe. just
hope leh terus kuat
semangat lepas ni :)
Thanks much for the prayers
and kata2 semangat ye.