Friday, January 15, 2010

somehow when i know dat im going to have a bad day/week/month and worst, in my case; year *cough*... i will just tuck in all the thoughts somewhere at the back of ur head and not let it haunt me and spoil my mood. however, sometimes, i just cant help but let out the tears. and it sucks especially when u have doubts of which friend should you call at times like this coz u are a freak who thinks that u should never menyusahkan ur friends with ur silly problems.
u see, i used to think that when we are friends, we really are friends. but somehow, i started to realize that im starting to classify friends into groups of people that serves different functions for me. and it really is hard for me to really let my heart out because of the many experiences of being ridiculed when what u really want is actually support. i guess i am not good at asking help and support from friends... and somehow, i can see that it hurts whenever i am with some people who are supposed to make me happy. seriously, how long can u sabar when everything u said is being made fun of? and when nobody actually listen to u.

okay, i think im sick and tired of being told to grow up if growing up means having to bottle up everything inside just to let the world know that u are matured enough.

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