Sunday, February 1, 2009

i am thinking again

well, people who really know me know that 70% of my day is used to think of little-litte things that somehow gets bigger in my tiny head. and today, while shopping for mr.peanut's fren's wedding gift, i was thinking of something that i should not think.and just now, i asked aleng how to spell the word 'fiance' becoz i was confused between 'fiance' and 'fiancee'. and there n then the mind started to rewind itself to last, x x...i think its last few days when i lene texted me something that made me curse myself for feeling sorry for myself because i hate being sorry for myself because of that boodystupidbodohbongok part of my life which hadn't really able to sink itself to somewhere down there where the mind cannot really recall and make me rewind n rewind sampaila aku rasa bodoh again n again n throw tantrums at peanut but thank god peanut is the most sweetest most penyabar man. hoh.panjang sungguh aku it a grown up thing to do to just forget everything, ikut flow je because the patching up will happen naturally later? if that is so, am i not grown up yet? maybe lah lene and ain, thanks.sbb faham kenapa aku rs unfair and marah.not like others who keep telling me that i failed to move on and leave the past and oh,how i hate being told that i am a loser especially by people whothinkthattheyknowmebuttheynot.note that most of the time, i deny and deny when i know i should just admit because i know that sometimes, people dont understand me.only those who cares understand or at least, they try to understand.thanks lene for trying and now u do understand kan? here's a kiss for you babe.muahx!

1 comment:

lenepawida said...

maaf atas msg kamu itu,
sbb aku tidak tahu perkara terbaik utk diberitahu kepada kamu,
aku tak mampu cari ayat terbagus utk kamu,
aku tahu perasaan ketika itu,
tapi aku tak mahu kamu teruskan dengan itu.
sudahlah, pergilah, campak jauh2 kerana itu adalah sakit hati.

dan aku selalu ada pada diri kamu :)