Thursday, June 26, 2008

an issue

when we have many dissapponments, especially at the hands of others...people might have trouble trusting others. but sometimes, when someone is brought up being told not to trust others other than himself..they might find it difficult to trust others too.
(trying to make someone believe in you coud be a frustrating especially when the other person had a bad past experience. If you have a person like this in your life accept that there will always be an element of mistrust in your relationship and be prepared to work overtime to prove that you can be trusted)
I think that what makes people trust or mistrust others is the principle of judgement. judging other people makes us interpret their actions and speech (whether u like it or not, truth is...we always do this. most of the times, unconciously.right?). and when the interpretation goes from positive to negative, then the need for a defence mechanism arise.
being in contact with others, there will always be a distance, be it big or small... it will still be a distance there. though some people have told me that this distance should be avoided if i want to be trusted and to be seen as 'friendly and approachable', i think that the distance served as a defence mechanism for me to avoid experiencing unpleasant situations.
when i am with the group of people that i am comfortable and i trust (which is very few, i can even count them with my tiny little fingers), u can expect me to be ha ha-ing all the time. but put me in a new crowd then i'll be the most shy and quiet girl. not because i dont know how to, but i think its because i am very quick to judge others. its not a good quality of mine n i know i have to do something about it. anyway, who am i to judge others?
well, i will hv to work on it quick coz i know...ive hurt some of the people that i care so much for not trusting them enuf to share my life with. keeping too much to myself is not good i guess coz it makes others mistrust me. ha ha. funny.

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