Thursday, January 24, 2008

my friend and her friends

she only have Her.correction.she once had Her.come to think of it, she once had Him too. but when one night, she let detestation took control, that was the end of everything. well, it was also the start of something.something that she loathe. something that she regret.
she finds solace in her own world.the world she created with her friends. (but of course, there is this one particular friend that she never part herself with) friends that she trust.friends that she knows wont spill anything happened the night before to other people.most importantly, she she knows she can temporarily shut herself beneath her friends.
in a way, you can say that she's actually using her friends...but thats not the point here. anyway, the friends are all inanimate.for that she knows she can abuse them, use them without having to listen to silly jokes.without having to bear sarcastic remarks, and most importantly, not having to feel even more dejected.
she love the smell of her friends.oh, when you see her with her friends, you'll know why.i suspect that the smell of it somehow reminds her of her babyhood.but i doubt that.i mean, do you really remember of your babyhood? but then again, she once told me that actually, she find that her friends could actually hide her from the thing that she's afraid of (mind you, there's too many things that she's afraid of.she is a living proof of someone who is paranoid about almost everything in this world)
i once caught her making out with her favourite friend.i wanted to do something to help, but i could not. i just let her do it till she finally dozed off. the next day, i can see the marks there.on the cheeks.but obviously, i think everybody can see the bulging marks under her small eyes. looks funny but i dont have the heart to make fun of her that day.
by the way, i feel it kind of weird the way she makes out with her friends. it is like she suffocate herself beneath her friend whenever she do it.sometimes she is like screaming her heart out but of course i cannot hear anything because she is covering her face with her friend. i once tought its a normal thing because i know some othe friends that do the same thing as she does when they try to sleep every night.you know, when you cover your face or half your face with your friend before you sleep every night...(oh, when i said friend, it means the pillow.shush! i know its crazy but she thinks those pillows are her friends.her only friends)
and a few days before, i caught her doing the same thing again. this time, i let her do it again. if i am not mistaken, she did it this time because she lost Her. she lost Her because she was accused of turning her back on Her. well, i dont think its a big deal but when she told me the whole story, i cried. i cried for not being able to do anything to help.but she told me that she will be fine.i doubt that.
because every night, i saw her fall asleep beneath her friends (most of the time, its her favourite friend) and i can smell the tears,i can hear the cry...even when she is not doing it. perhaps its because she has done it every day and so it left the smell of tears and the sound of cry lingering around the room.uh. i pity her.

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