Tuesday, April 30, 2013

when jokes are not funny

i don't play around with my facebook  much these days. i usually check it when i cant't sleep at night or when i am bored. that's when i scroll the newsfeed and then, that's it. i rarely chat with others and update my profile as much as i did before. so when i updated my fb status last week, i was quite surprised when i got quite a lot of responses not only in fb, but a few concerned friends too, texted me asking whether i am ok or not. heheh. some even called and people at the office pun start asking. eheheh.

i did not plan for it to be like that pun. i was just quite under pressure last week since ada banyak sangat kerja at work and wasnt feeling really well jugak. so i guess, i was a bit sensitive last week when i get super upset getting commented that i don't love my baby just because i don't take some people's advice seriously when it comes to pregnancy and bla bla. i guess i can take it sometimes (though i know these people don't mean harm pun masa ckp those things) but lama-lama mcm annoying lah being told things like "eh, kau ni x sayang anak ke?" or "apesal tanak bla bla? kesian la anak nnt x sayang ke kat dia?"

haih. mana la ade org mengandung tak sayang anak dlm perut. ye dak?

so i think, people yang think they know a lot about pregnancy and kids should not really push others (especially expecting mothers like me yang tgh undergo hormonal imbalance.haha) into taking their advice. i've heard soooo many pregnancy this and that and as much as i appreciate those advice, i think i don't have to take and practice everything that i've heard kan.... i sometimes check with my doctor friends too and if they say there's no medical prove etc., why should i simply jump into the bandwagon?

look, i do sometimes get scared thinking something (nauzubillah) happened to us both (as i still have another 5 months to go) since i sometimes go againts some pantang larang and even not taking extra supplement all these 4 months carrying my baby inside.  all i take is what the doctors & nurses prescribed and that's it. i don't switch to prenatal milk but i still drink milk. twice a day. and the doctor i went for check up said that's okay but but but, some even tell me that i am not taking care of my baby & me much since i don't act like other expecting mothers do (like start switching to prenatal milk, taking a-z pills/supplements etc.)

thing is, i know myself. i don't like taking pills. and i don't take supplements religiously even before i got pregnant. but of course since i got pregnant, whatever ubat/pills i got from the doctor, the husband will make sure i take them at least before i fall asleep every night. so i think if i buy extra supplements, i am very very sure it'll be just a waste of money since i know i'm not gonna finish them.

but does that mean i don't love my baby enough?

sedih okay bila orang asyik cakap macam tu. hmm... nasib baik i have freiends and family yg keep telling me as long as i take whatever pills the doctors prescribed, i should be ok and the baby will be fine. insyaallah.

oh it rains almost everyday btw... i love rainy days. i love the sound and smell of rain. and i love the smell after it rains :)

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

last week and recent crave

spent 2 days at the hospital last week and the next two days for daily check up but i finally gv up on the third day sbb dh malas urine test x lulus2. hahah. was warded for severe dehydration katenye. doc said it was stage 3 based on the urine test. i wasnt really listening as i wasnt feeling well and all i can think of is "nak tido, nak baring, nak termuntah" but husband was there so dia je lah dgr & borak dengan doc. and i lost 5.5kgs as of last week. (if i am not pregnant now, i'd sooooo gonna jump happily of course sbb fuyyyoooooo. lg ringan dari berat masa kawen. hehehehehe)

i was on drip the whole day and when the third bottle habis, they did another test but still, dehydrated. checked with a doctor friend, she said if i went to a government clinic/hospital diorg suruh balik and advise minum byk2, mkn betul2 je. but since it was a private one, the continued with the fourth bottle. so we had to spend the night there lah. sian husband. tido x nyenyak.

the next day parents came nk take over turn temankan as ecan has to attend an important meeting kat ofis. i was still on drip. too bad single room semua penuh so i had to share. unfortunately, orang katil sebelah xnak amek hospital food so her whenever her family visit, they'll bring lauk pauk and byk food for her and everytime they eat confirm daku muntah x ingat dunia. i cannot stand the smell of food in an air-conditioned room lah. even kat ofis pun kdg2 i end up tutup pintu bilik sbb x tahan bau makanan staff2 kat luar buat makan2... (and i cannot understand why they dont have that makan2 kat pantry je. haih)

doc wanted me to stay for another night but she allowed me to go home since she (and a few nurses and a cleaner) saw how bad i was everytime orang katil sebelah makan. haha. muntah like nobody's business betul. and since xde single room lg, she said ok lah i can go home but i have to come everyday to check my condition. so i happily went home but the vomitting is still there. up till today. they say it will stop once i reach my 12th week. but this is the 3rd day of my 12th week and i still have it. haha. hoping for it to end a.s.a.p

and ive finally have my pink book. opened one at the klinik ibu mengandung near mak's house and the next check up would be on the 23rd. but next week i have an appointment for my blood test. hopefully, everything's gonna be good, insyaallah.

btw, im craving for air kelapa muda. and teringinnnnn sangat2 nak makan isi kelapa tu. :( too bad semua orang tak bagi makan as i am still at an early stage. another thing is, i want tebu. not craving for air tebu, but the sugarcane itself. nak kunyah2 but some said it's not  good too. so i might have to wait lah for another few months.

im also guilty for not eating properly lately. poor my baby. i hope everything's ok in there. i sometimes skipped on my supplements sbb takut sangat muntah2 and sometimes sbb tertidur. haih.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

a lot has happened...

since the last time i visited here.

1) am in my first trimester. couldnt believe it till we both went for a scan. hahah. doctor was a bit reluctant at first as we've told him we did like 2 upt at home so that should convince us enough, the doc said. but husband said he wants to see it to make sure it wasnt a false one so the doctor finally did :)

2) went for a week-long course in Kedah and otw home, found myself bleed. was super scared at that time but i didnt let anyone in the bus know sbb i was scared it'd make a scene. so i quietly texted husband (who at that time was away in JB for work) asking him to come home asap and fetch me once i reach my office and another doctor friend asking for her opinion bla bla bla (of course, her first reply was "go see a doctor now!" but haruslah kene tunggu smpai kl kan). alhamdulillah husband was there to pick me even before the bus sampai dpn office. laju gile kot lah drive. heheh. so we went to a clinic and the doctor did some check up and scan bla bla bla, confirming that everything's good. except that if i continue to bleed, i was only asked to rest. that explains my MC/EL the day after. heheh. she also said that if i only bleed once, that should be okay lah. just kene be careful sikit with my everyday chores etc. but if it continues to bleed, maybe something's wrong so she said she'll give me a loooong MC. huwagh. i sooo want that mc.

3) my version of morning sickness started kicking in the day after we got to know of the good news. but rather, i'd call it all-day-long sickness. i vomitted at least twice a day (maximum so far is 6 times) heh. and i seem to have lost my appetite as i found everything either x sedap or i simply couldnt stand their smell. and that has made me lost 4kgs so far but has started to gain those weight back, alhamdulillah. the last time i checked (last night), i still need another 2kgs to be back to my normal pre-pregnancy weight. sebelum ni, nak naik berat punyalah senang.. now, nk naik a few kgs pun susah in a few weeks. but problem is, whatever i eat, will surely comes out in an hour or a few after. confirm. heheh. even minum air je pun confirm termuntah balik. surprisingly, i dont feel hungry lepas tu. i guess that explains the weight loss. and i dont eat rice at all. tak suka. i eat lots of finger food je. i know, not good but those are the only food i can eat. yg lain, bau pun boleh buat nk muntah.

4) i sleep early everyday. am sure to be on bed by 9pm everyday. hahah. some days, i even fell asleep right after solat maghrib. and i get grumpy whenever husband kejut tanya dh isya' or belum and whether i need to iron any tudung or baju for tomorrow. sometimes he said i woke up betul2 marah tp terus begerak g solat & siap2kan baju. then terus baring & lelap nyenyak. heheh. i guess i really am that penat eh.

5) baby is due in october. a week after husband's birthday. he keep on saying that baby will come out early on his birthday. heheh. i secretly hope so. so that i dont have to buy you another birthday gift & cake heheh. that'd be the best birthday gift ever kan...

Friday, February 15, 2013

here comes the food photo journal

i think the husband's effort to eat more at home (becuase he said home cooked meal are more healthy) plus his effort on trying to have simple, no-rice dinner in the hope of losing some weight, has made me seen snapping sooooo many food photos. at which some i have to embarrassingly stop him from eating just so i can take a photo or two of the food. hahah. i guess he's soooo used to it by now that sometimes he teased me by saying that i am now soooo into the habit that it has made me cook mroe often. ceh.

well, i did it at first to just document the things i've bake/cook. more of like so that i remember which recipe ive tried and tasted good coz i keep them in my food journal. but lately, i think ive started joining the bandwagon of food photography. hihihih.

all because i think ive started to do this a lot more often too, when i or we eat out. dulu-dulu tak sangat but now..hahah. rajin sangat amek gambar makanan. but of course, i try as much as i can not to be noticed when taking photos of food i/m having when at restaurants etc. i dont use flash, silent the phone and try to be clandestine as possible. hee hee. but but but, a lot of times too, i find myself taking pointless pictures of food which later sit there quietly in the fon memenuhkan ruang.

i still dont take pictures of myself that much though. emmm, i do but i just dont post them that much online. maybe i'll start next year. heheh.

all pics are edited, of course and taken with my humble phone. highly edited that i think i should have better phone to take pics next time. heheh. 

Monday, January 21, 2013

hanging tough

i was asked of what i usually do when i am upset. like really, really sad. wasnt expecting this from her so i didnt know what to text back.

crying in the shower sounds good. as no one will notice.
or cry yourself to sleep. hopefully the pain is gone once you're up.

hang in there. just a little bit. hang in there, darling.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

but why?

i can understand that everyone has the right tp say/write anything they want on their personal online space. but why, must we write about things that seriously, like seriously abxgfdeudpop##azx2! why?

like saying how fat you are when you are no where near 2 digit clothing size... or like how small your eyes are when truth is, nothing's wrong with them... or like how much you hate the zits on your face because apparently, you think it makes you less pretty... or simply how much you've put on weight that it shows on your cheeks when really, nothing's changed. at all.

and no, i seriously dont think they (some of them) are fishing for some compliments. you know, like wanting some friends denying whatever they've said earlier and then complimenting bla. bla. bla. no. some of them i know memang not fishing for attention. but why the need to let soo many people know how you are not comfortable with yourself? i mean, komplen lah when you are among closest family or friends.. 

not because i think that is inappropriate, but it's just sad seeing/hearing someone pretty commenting how ugly/fat she is. like, we dont see siti nurhaliza & lisa surihani komplen diorang rasa x cantik sbb berat dh naik kan? and no, dont be skinny (or slim, as they say.bukan skinny katanya). let's just be healthy.

worst. when some dont even know how to take compliments. instead of saying "xdelah, dah gemuk ni..." or "ehhh? ni jerawat naik banyak dah ni.." when i tell you that you look pretty, why dont just say thank you and smile. that should be enough :)

but then again, it's their own space so they can say/write whatever they want. and that's the reason i have always hmm... shrug it off, smile and move on.

p/s: dear tiger, one of the many that ive mentioned in the mail

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

of wednesday and the days before

so i didnt do any baking last weekend. too busy with other things & was a bit under the weather.

but did help the sister to make some homemade campak-campak pizza. ah. that will do. for ive been craving for some pizza but the husband asyik ajak makan tempat lain yg xde pizza so lama-lama lupe dh nk makan pizza.

elder bro's belanja. nasi kerabu/nasi dagang/nasi belauk the best (so far) at Haji Ismail & Hajah Minah Kelantan's. Medan Selera next to Pasar Basah Pelabuhan Klang. 

i think sometimes mak ajak makan sini just because this place reminds her of her working years kot. and whenever we're there, confirm akan jumpa a few of her friends yg have breakfast there too :)

le weekend mini project :)

and the homemade campak-campak pizza. to finish off the cheese supply we have in the fridge. dhnak expired pun.. eat straight from the pan. ngeheheh.

cant focus much at work as i am quite distracted lately. not good. haish. cant even let myself finish some tasks given. xde mood lak rasanya.